Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of your life. Proverbs 4:23 

            Learning how to embrace my belovedness in Christ and that my identity truly rest in knowing I am unconditionally loved by Jesus was a long journey for me.  When I finally began understanding how powerful living knowing I am loved and accepted by Jesus- God took my 10 year struggle of an eating disorder away.  My optimism believed that now that my heart was not hungry anymore, I could choose to give my heart to loving those who hurt the most. And I did just that I gave my heart. 

      The heart is an amazing muscle that pumps 2000 gallons of blood through our body every day. Our hearts beats 70 times each minute. Our hearts contracts and relaxes 24 hours a day seven days a week.  Our heart is our life line without it we die.  Blood flows through our heart to be cleaned and after it is cleaned in the lungs it circulates back through the heart on its way throughout our entire body. The heart is about the size of our fist and yet holds the power of our life and death in its rhythmic consistency.  

      Why do we ask Jesus in our heart? Why don’t we ask Him in our legs or arms or even our brain? Why do we ask Him in our “heart”?  God gives us so many pictures in the Bible; I have to think that this is another picture from Him. For when we study the heart we realize that it is alive, beating constantly, it is operating 24/7. Our heart is constant just like God is. He desires a constant living relationship with us, pray continually. 1 Thess. 5:17 Our every heart beat reminds us that God is near and He desires continual closeness with us if we choose to let him. 

      A few months ago in the middle of the worship service, standing next to Dan and our children. God gave me this picture of my heart. At this point in time my situation had changed, but my heart had not.  Secretly my heart was battered and bruised. My heart looked as if it had been dropped and stepped on a few times. Yet the worse part of my heart picture was the enormous green thorn bush growing out of the center of it. I knew what this was: thorns of bitterness.  My thoughts went something like this, “That cannot be my heart; I love, I am a “grace-giver.” “I know what those thorns do, they prick people that want to get close, but they also prick me too when anyone does get close.” “How did my heart get this way?” 

      You see, the safety I thought I had chosen in relationship was not so safe. And even though physically I was safe my heart was broken from anger, being falsely accused, being hurt repeatedly…

        “Love the Lord your God with all your heart…” Mark 12: 

      In this little picture in my spirit, God said to me gently, “Give me your heart.” I resisted at first, I mean I already gave it to Him for salvation many years ago, but I am not sure that He protected me from the pain. Then I realized He was the only one that could fix this messy mass-my heart. So reluctantly I chose to give Him my heart. He lifted it to His lips and breathed into it. Instantly, the bruises were gone and that ugly thorn bush went away. He held it so carefully and so tenderly. It felt so safe. It was instantly whole, healed and brand new. I still was not sure I wanted to forgive the person that had hurt me. Was that the same unforgiveness and bitterness that fueled that thick thorn and would it grow back?

      In this exchange with my Father, God, I surrendered my fears to give my heart back to others who He led me to be vulnerable with. Then God did the safest act He kept holding my heart while He let others hold it. He told me that I must daily give Him my heart and that it is safe with him. People will let me down even those precious to me. I realize now after this picture that I must forgive over and over again giving my heart back to the Almighty Healer before the bitterness takes root again. 

      How is your heart? Has life bruised your heart? Has life’s pain, rejection, loss, lonliness, and injustices battered your heart? Have you let the pain plant a bush of bitterness into your heart? Is that bitterness pricking you and others preventing healthy relationships or safe closeness? My friend, choose to give God your heart. Choose to surrender the pain and let it go. Give Him your pain, He can handle it. He didn’t make all that pain, but He has the healing power to heal those wounds.  You might need to work through your pain in counseling or with a mentor while you are forgiving others and giving God your heart back. 

      Each heart knows its own bitterness (Proverbs 14:10) Ephesians 4:31 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger…be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ in God forgave you.”   Bitterness does not only punish the person that hurt you, it punishes you. Nothing good ever comes from bitterness. Bitterness taints our perception of life, making even the brilliant dull, for the dull pain of those thorns never leaves unless bitterness is dealt with.

Answer

      How is your heart?

      Has life bruised your heart? Has life’s pain, rejection, loss, lonliness, and injustices battered your heart?

      Have you let the pain plant a bush of bitterness into your heart?

      Is that bitterness pricking you and others preventing healthy relationships or safe closeness?

Surrender Prayer

Lord, I give you my heart. I give you my pain, my losses, my injustices. Here are a few of those that echo in my mind __________________________________________________. I have let the “sun go down while I was still angry.” (Eph. 4:27) and the root of bitterness has grown into a thornbush in my life, please uproot that bush by the sword of the Holy Spirit. I have not forgiven _________________________________________________________________________________And I am still angry at the pain that they have caused me. Here is my anger; I choose to forgive them for _____________________________________________________________________________________________________.

Jesus, beat in my heart, I give all I know of me to all I know of you. Redeem me breath Your healing power into my heart. May Your Spirit cleanse, heal, and renew my heart daily. I need you to help me in this life. I let go and give you control of me, my heart, my life.

In Jesus name